Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Love??

A recent comment

When we tell each other 'I love you' we try to remind each other, not sure whether we do or don't. The true respect to anyone is telling them that you do but I realize that there is an extent to it. When you care about someone , communicating that you and they share that feeling is important , Love is something more than that. It can only be experienced by knowing a person, not by saying it- and that takes a lifetime. We punish people by using it otherwise. We get caught up and we can't set be free.There is friendship and there is caring, all are initiatives to love. Love is the conclusion not the beginning.

Annonymous


'I love you' very important words used differently by people all across the globe, so obviously holds diffrent meanings to different people. Your obsevations are good especially the distinction between love, friendship and caring.

For me 'I love you' has a slightly different meaning. When I say these words to someone it means I have accepted that person in a relationship and I am feeling good in that relationship, this relationship could be of friendship or of life partnership or even a blood relationship. Thats the reason I use these words with my blood relations too or with my friends. Love to me the inherent emotion in all humans, we all need love, we all recognize love but we don't really know how to live in love continuously. What takes place between a child and parent is also love and what takes place between man-woman is also love. The feeling is the same, that of intimacy and closeness, the expression of this feeling differs from relationship to realationship.

So in other words for me love is the starting point of all relationships. When the relationships don't work out then it is not that love has ended, it is rather the expression of love which has not got communicated. And we being very conditioned in our response, when love is not communicated then we usually retaliate by either hurting, or ignoring our partner, which is just our defence mechanism working.

Ashok

Monday, June 27, 2005

Sharing observations

Hi Shiva,

Apologies for the delayed reply. My reply is in black font.

Hi Ashok.
First of all let me tell u that I am not trying to change anyone’s worldview. I agree with u that this discourse can only be about exchanging views, opinions, experiences. And give us mutual inspiration.

Secondly: Why did I bring up the adjective “complicated”? See: You are posting your thoughts on a blog, so obviously you are eager to reach a certain audience. So: if you would pen down all your thoughts just for you, there would be nothing to comment. But as you want to reach other people (at least I assume you do), I wanted to give you the feedback, that with your way of describing your worldview you will have lots of difficulties to reach someone.

Feedback is one of the main objectives of this blog, and you being one the only one posting comments in recent times, I do appreciate your interest. but I need to clarify something, my postings are based on my observations of myself, my relationships and life, when I am writing something it is only after I am convinced that this is how I see that issue, these observations are my way of expressing my thoughts to other people. I am not looking for people to agree or disagree with me, I just want them to know this is how I see the issues I am writing about, I don't want you or anyone else to see it in the way I do. I want you and others to share with me what you have understood, what you have observed just like I am trying to do.

The reason for this is that I look at every human as an independent observer with full capabilities and I have complete confidence in each and every humans ability to observe what they want to observe. I know that if my observations of reality are complete then I will find someone else too who would have similar observations on the same issue. If my observations are incomplete then maybe your observations or someone else's observation might help me in completing my observations on the issue. So I would like you to post your observations on 'I' how do you see it.

Because you ask a question, and your answer is not about clarifying this question, but it brings in even more questions. So all I wanted to point out is: Why do you make it so difficult for us as audience to follow? If you have to say simple things which can be understood easily, then communicate them in a simple way so that anyone can understand. I agree: The question “what am I?” is not at all complicated, but you gave a very complicated answer to this simple question. I am glad that for you reality and I are easy to understand. If that is so, please explain them in a way that they can be easily understood by anyone else as well. That is all I would suggest.

I is that 'unit' which is capable of observation, understanding, expressing and experiencing. Reality I had defined in my last post 'Reality is something whose existence or being, is independent of observers consciousness.'

Now to the question of reality: Of course we assume that a stone which no one is aware of is still existing. But how does an existence of which no one is aware, matter?

There are lot of things around us of which we are not aware, all these things along with the ones we are aware of make a very balanced and coexisting universe that we see around us. We might be aware of it or not that is a different matter, infact according to me the purpose of life is a journey of awareness of all that is around us. So atleast to me that stone matters.

Why is looking at myself as I a trap? As far as I could understand your writing you said that looking at ourselves as it, that are limiting views. Is that right? So: Looking at ourselves as I would be the right thing to do. Would mean: looking at ourselves how we really are. So all I am saying is: The very attempt to make out WHAT WE REALLY ARE is a trap, because we will believe in something fixed, static – we would look at ourselves as “this and that I” so to say. So we would reduce our subjectivity to the status of an object. So only way to find our true self is keep on looking for it without ever trying to fix or name it. Once we do that, it is not US any more.

When I see myself I can see 'this', 'that', 'it' and 'I' in myself, since the moment I started seeing these I have found myself more aware of myself, at no times have I felt trapped or limited. I can observe myself and I understand most of what I observe in myself, whether it is subjective or objective I don't really care as I know no other way of being except for being a constant observer of self and world.

Am I clear? One would really have to put much more time and thinking on this whole topic. But better a few thoughts than no thoughts. And anyway we are all on our way to understand the world and ourselves and that’s a very long way, I guess.


Shiva

I hope this helps you understand what I am trying to say.
Ashok

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

complicated, reality, object

Hi Shiva,
Its nice to see a comment on the blog, I'll try to reply with all my sincerity.

You Wrote:
Hello Ashok. Thanks for your Post, I enjoyed reading it. I have a few comments: First of all it doesn't help to substitute the word I (what I am?) through the word "reality". So asking What am I? and giving the answer: I am a reality, makes things only more complicate. This is actually the first thing one can learn in the study of philosophy: never substitute complicate concepts by even more complicate ones. Because this will only bring confusion.
My second comment is then of course: What do you mean by Reality? (Please give a short answer.)
My third comment (which is actually a question): Where is the difference between this, that, it - and I? Because as soon as you think of yourself as I you will be in the trap of looking at yourself as an object - though everyone of us is so much more than that. We are neither this nor that nor I nor reality. We are, to say it in a Latin _expression: "ineffabile" - that's what I believe.
Shiva (Delhi)

So you disagree, thats ok. I respect that.

You see this is my worldview and I am very comfortable with it and till the time I come across something better I guess I'll stick to it.

As a reply to your comments I just have the following to say:

What is complicate? it is a word one uses when one does not understand something or finds something difficult or believes that it can not be understood. Example "life is complicated" or "This physics problem is complicated". When something is understood or believed that it can be understood then it is neither complicated or difficult.

To me the question 'What I am' is neither complicated or difficult as I am aware of myself, which is why I call myself 'I', I have no doubts about my being, so 'I' know 'I am' but 'what am I' well that is 'what I am' trying to find.

Secondly, What is reality? Reality is something whose existence or being, is independent of observers consciousness.
Example a stone : whether I am aware of it or not, it exists and will keep on existing whether or not I become aware of it, so it is a reality, similarly whether I am aware of myself or not I still exist, therefore I am a Reality.

I hope that was short enough

For me 'I' or 'Reality' both are very simple and easy to understand, no confusion there atleast for me, but if you have confusion then you will have to find your own answers.

So you see no difference between It, this, that or 'I' and you think I cannot be studied objectively, thats fine many great philosphers have had a similar view. I am personally of the view that these are different things and can easily be understood, thats what the whole article was about.

I would like to add here what I think an object is - an object is that reality which is limited physically and of specific size and the size is inclusive of its zone of influence. Example: this earth is an object, Sun, plants, animals, you, I etc. Space is not an object as it is not limited in size or its zone of influence.

Two questions for you.
Why is looking at oneself as 'I' a trap?? and I think you need to explain what you mean by object and how are we more then a object?

Mind you these are my views, I am not agreeing or disagreeing with you, only sharing my views on the some issues and invite you to do the same.

Ashok

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Who am I – It, This or, That

‘The Game mind plays’

Yesterday I was thinking what am I? Following is the answer I got.

I am a reality.

A reality which is an integral part of the existence.

The problem is that ‘I’ don’t realize this reality, instead I believe that I am ‘It’. Attributing some qualities, some habits, some abilities to myself, or should I say I like to think of myself as ‘It’. This ‘It’ is not the real me but what I think what I am.

When I interact with someone I like to project myself in a certain way which I call ‘This’, ‘This’ is what I keep trying to show everybody. But this ‘This’ is just a subset of ‘It’. That is I try to project only a certain part of what I think I am, all this is done only for my convenience in the interaction. With different people and in different circumstances I am a different ‘This’.

Now since I think I am ‘It’ and try to show others that I am ‘This’, this gives me certain characteristics which are visible to others, of which I am aware of some and unaware of some. In different circumstances and with different people I am a different ‘This’. All the time thinking that people will soon start seeing me as ‘This’, also smug with the fact that no one will ever know that I am ‘It’.

What happens is something else.

When I see people I them as ‘That’, this ‘That’ is based on how I have read them, my readings are based upon their characteristic behavior which is distinctly different from their projected self (‘This’).

Now this is exactly how you see me, since there is one thing in common in You and I, it is the ability, need and the method to see others.

You see me as ‘That’ which is based on the characteristics you see in me, some of these are from (my) ‘This’ some are there because of my essentially being an ‘I’(Human) and others are because this is how you see me. Yes you do give me some characteristics which come from the way you see me or want to see me. So in the end ‘That’ you see is a mix of lot of stuff which is mostly imaginary some of this imaginary stuff is in you and some of it is in me.

With this kind of state we interact, no wonder most of the times our interactions are unfulfilling.

In this mess of ‘It’, ‘This’ and ‘That’ the ‘I’ gets lost, and it will keep getting lost till I wake up and re-look at myself and so do You.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Relationships, Body & I

I had posted this piece on another blog of mine but it is relevent here too.

Relationships – my viewpoint

What is a relationship?
Its any exchange between two people based on mutual recognition with the aim of mutual happiness.

Mutual Recognition: Recognizing each other in some capacity like parent, child, sibling, spouse, friend, co-worker, lover etc.

Mutual happiness: The intent is to interact in such a way so that both people involved experience joy in it.

Even though aim for mutual happiness is always there but due to various reasons it is seldom achieved, or should I say it is not achieved consistently.

What kinds of exchanges take place in a relationship?
All interactions between people have mental and physical aspects.

When I see myself then following is how I see these two aspects in myself:

  1. I am a human

  2. My humanness has two components physical mental (conscious)

  3. They are two separate identities in nature

  4. My humanness is the expression of co-existence of both these identities

  5. My physical identity is my body

  6. My conscious identity is the part where following processes take place
    • Feelings
    • Thinking (analysis comparision)
    • Imagination (memory, visualization, planning, evaluation)
    • Understanding
    • Experiencing
  7. This conscious part is what I call ‘I’
  8. I address the body as ‘My Body’

My consciousness is different from physical body in the following manner:

  1. I am self aware - My body is not self aware
  2. I seek happiness - Body requires nurturing, maintenance, multiplication & protection
  3. My requirements are continuous - My body's requirements are periodic
  4. My requirements are not circumstances based - Bodies requirements are circumstances based
  5. My requirements cannot be quantified - Bodies requirements are very much quantified
  6. My target is to be in continuous state of happiness - Bodies target is growth and multiplication
  7. I am not effected by physical-chemical changes in my environment - My body is effected by physical-chemical changes in its environment
  8. There are no quantitative changes in me - Body is continuously changing quantitatively

    In all my interactions both body and mind are involved. The mind is where the initiation in form of wants/thoughts/desires takes place and the body is the tool with which I express it in the form of action or speech. For e.g I want to meet you. I express this want through my body by sitting in my car, driving it to your place and thus fulfilling it.

    If I look at all the acts that I do or all that I speak, I find the same pattern.

    There are some functions of my body where I do not play an active role, like breathing, heart beating, body temperature regulation etc These all happen on there own and are controlled by the system(inherent design) of my body.

    So, when I am interacting with someone both the components are being used but it’s the mind that gives direction to all my interactions. Similarly I see others.

    This knowledge is the basis of my interaction with others, when I am interacting in a relationship then I try to see what is the want/thought/desire behind the persons talk and acts. Since my inputs are restricted to what the person is expressing (through body) I keep looking at my self for interpreting the actions of others.

    This leads from the fact that I have this firm belief that all we humans have same inherent design.