‘The Game mind plays’
Yesterday I was thinking what am I? Following is the answer I got.
I am a reality.
A reality which is an integral part of the existence.
The problem is that ‘I’ don’t realize this reality, instead I believe that I am ‘It’. Attributing some qualities, some habits, some abilities to myself, or should I say I like to think of myself as ‘It’. This ‘It’ is not the real me but what I think what I am.
When I interact with someone I like to project myself in a certain way which I call ‘This’, ‘This’ is what I keep trying to show everybody. But this ‘This’ is just a subset of ‘It’. That is I try to project only a certain part of what I think I am, all this is done only for my convenience in the interaction. With different people and in different circumstances I am a different ‘This’.
Now since I think I am ‘It’ and try to show others that I am ‘This’, this gives me certain characteristics which are visible to others, of which I am aware of some and unaware of some. In different circumstances and with different people I am a different ‘This’. All the time thinking that people will soon start seeing me as ‘This’, also smug with the fact that no one will ever know that I am ‘It’.
What happens is something else.
When I see people I them as ‘That’, this ‘That’ is based on how I have read them, my readings are based upon their characteristic behavior which is distinctly different from their projected self (‘This’).
Now this is exactly how you see me, since there is one thing in common in You and I, it is the ability, need and the method to see others.
You see me as ‘That’ which is based on the characteristics you see in me, some of these are from (my) ‘This’ some are there because of my essentially being an ‘I’(Human) and others are because this is how you see me. Yes you do give me some characteristics which come from the way you see me or want to see me. So in the end ‘That’ you see is a mix of lot of stuff which is mostly imaginary some of this imaginary stuff is in you and some of it is in me.
With this kind of state we interact, no wonder most of the times our interactions are unfulfilling.
In this mess of ‘It’, ‘This’ and ‘That’ the ‘I’ gets lost, and it will keep getting lost till I wake up and re-look at myself and so do You.
