Love??

A recent comment

When we tell each other 'I love you' we try to remind each other, not sure whether we do or don't. The true respect to anyone is telling them that you do but I realize that there is an extent to it. When you care about someone , communicating that you and they share that feeling is important , Love is something more than that. It can only be experienced by knowing a person, not by saying it- and that takes a lifetime. We punish people by using it otherwise. We get caught up and we can't set be free.There is friendship and there is caring, all are initiatives to love. Love is the conclusion not the beginning.

Annonymous

'I love you' very important words used differently by people all across the globe, so obviously holds diffrent meanings to different people. Your obsevations are good especially the distinction between love, friendship and caring.

For me 'I love you' has a slightly different meaning. When I say these words to someone it means I have accepted that person in a relationship and I am feeling good in that relationship, this relationship could be of friendship or of life partnership or even a blood relationship. Thats the reason I use these words with my blood relations too or with my friends. Love to me the inherent emotion in all humans, we all need love, we all recognize love but we don't really know how to live in love continuously. What takes place between a child and parent is also love and what takes place between man-woman is also love. The feeling is the same, that of intimacy and closeness, the expression of this feeling differs from relationship to realationship.

So in other words for me love is the starting point of all relationships. When the relationships don't work out then it is not that love has ended, it is rather the expression of love which has not got communicated. And we being very conditioned in our response, when love is not communicated then we usually retaliate by either hurting, or ignoring our partner, which is just our defence mechanism working.

Ashok

Sharing observations

Hi Shiva,

Apologies for the delayed reply. My reply is in black font.

Hi Ashok.
First of all let me tell u that I am not trying to change anyone’s worldview. I agree with u that this discourse can only be about exchanging views, opinions, experiences. And give us mutual inspiration.

Secondly: Why did I bring up the adjective “complicated”? See: You are posting your thoughts on a blog, so obviously you are eager to reach a certain audience. So: if you would pen down all your thoughts just for you, there would be nothing to comment. But as you want to reach other people (at least I assume you do), I wanted to give you the feedback, that with your way of describing your worldview you will have lots of difficulties to reach someone.

Feedback is one of the main objectives of this blog, and you being one the only one posting comments in recent times, I do appreciate your interest. but I need to clarify something, my postings are based on my observations of myself, my relationships and life, when I am writing something it is only after I am convinced that this is how I see that issue, these observations are my way of expressing my thoughts to other people. I am not looking for people to agree or disagree with me, I just want them to know this is how I see the issues I am writing about, I don't want you or anyone else to see it in the way I do. I want you and others to share with me what you have understood, what you have observed just like I am trying to do.

The reason for this is that I look at every human as an independent observer with full capabilities and I have complete confidence in each and every humans ability to observe what they want to observe. I know that if my observations of reality are complete then I will find someone else too who would have similar observations on the same issue. If my observations are incomplete then maybe your observations or someone else's observation might help me in completing my observations on the issue. So I would like you to post your observations on 'I' how do you see it.

Because you ask a question, and your answer is not about clarifying this question, but it brings in even more questions. So all I wanted to point out is: Why do you make it so difficult for us as audience to follow? If you have to say simple things which can be understood easily, then communicate them in a simple way so that anyone can understand. I agree: The question “what am I?” is not at all complicated, but you gave a very complicated answer to this simple question. I am glad that for you reality and I are easy to understand. If that is so, please explain them in a way that they can be easily understood by anyone else as well. That is all I would suggest.

I is that 'unit' which is capable of observation, understanding, expressing and experiencing. Reality I had defined in my last post 'Reality is something whose existence or being, is independent of observers consciousness.'

Now to the question of reality: Of course we assume that a stone which no one is aware of is still existing. But how does an existence of which no one is aware, matter?

There are lot of things around us of which we are not aware, all these things along with the ones we are aware of make a very balanced and coexisting universe that we see around us. We might be aware of it or not that is a different matter, infact according to me the purpose of life is a journey of awareness of all that is around us. So atleast to me that stone matters.

Why is looking at myself as I a trap? As far as I could understand your writing you said that looking at ourselves as it, that are limiting views. Is that right? So: Looking at ourselves as I would be the right thing to do. Would mean: looking at ourselves how we really are. So all I am saying is: The very attempt to make out WHAT WE REALLY ARE is a trap, because we will believe in something fixed, static – we would look at ourselves as “this and that I” so to say. So we would reduce our subjectivity to the status of an object. So only way to find our true self is keep on looking for it without ever trying to fix or name it. Once we do that, it is not US any more.

When I see myself I can see 'this', 'that', 'it' and 'I' in myself, since the moment I started seeing these I have found myself more aware of myself, at no times have I felt trapped or limited. I can observe myself and I understand most of what I observe in myself, whether it is subjective or objective I don't really care as I know no other way of being except for being a constant observer of self and world.

Am I clear? One would really have to put much more time and thinking on this whole topic. But better a few thoughts than no thoughts. And anyway we are all on our way to understand the world and ourselves and that’s a very long way, I guess.


Shiva

I hope this helps you understand what I am trying to say.
Ashok