Choice

“Choice, the problem is choice” __ Neo(Matrix Reloaded)

What defines a human being? Or should I ask what is that differentiates humans? Some might say our colour/creed/sex/race/culture/intelligence/physical strength ……. The list is endless. To me the only difference I see in humans is the choices they make. Rest all is the same.

The choices one makes defines what you eventually are. As I love to say “Life is a consequence of choices one makes”.

Really!!? Is that true? Does it make any sense? What do you think?

Let me try and explain my view point.

What is freedom?

Freedom as defined in Wikipedia: refers, in a very general sense, to the state of being free (i.e. unrestricted, unconfined or unfettered). Also, liberation from restraint or from the power of another: independence. In short, freedom is the power to act and the cause which advances this power.

Does that make any sense?

Yes it does if you add the fact the ‘being free’ basically means being “free to choose”. ‘Liberation from restraint’ means no external restraints on your power to choose.

In fact one can define most of the human values on the basis of ‘power of choice’ example:

Care: Your ability to convey a feeling of freedom to your partner by which he/she knows that you facilitate their freedom of choice.

Trust: Your ability to convey a feeling of freedom to your partner by which he/she is assured that their power of choice will be considered equal to your own power of choice and accorded same freedom.

I hope the above examples communicate the importance I give to ‘Power of choice’ in relationships.

Choice determines the kind of person one becomes, the kind of personality one develops, the kind of life one leads and the kind of human being one turns out to be.

A lot of my friends have pointed out that I should include more examples to explain my viewpoints but currently ‘I choose’ to do without examples because I feel that what I am trying to communicate is getting done without examples. See how this choice determines my personality/expression/impression on others.

So if it is all about choice then why is their so much conflict/diversity/mismatch in the way human families/communities/societies have developed?

The reason I can see is the, ‘basis of choice’ one uses. Currently there are only three basis on which we base our choices Likes/Dislikes, Healthy/unhealthy & gain/loss. These three parameters are the only parameters which are consistently used as basis for exercising ones choice.

Examples:
Choosing a friend – do I LIKE him/her or not? (Likes/Dislikes)
Choosing when to marry – Am I Financially comfortable or not(gain/loss)
Choosing what to eat – I need to avoid fat rich foods (healthy/unhealthy)
Choosing what not to eat - This smells of coconut oil, I can’t eat this (Likes/Dislikes)
Choosing where to live – Yes the rent of this apartment is suitable for me (gain/loss)
Choosing a lifestyle – I need to join a Gym (healthy/unhealthy)

Interestingly the choices based upon these three criteria that we use currently, vary vastly from person to person, what I like/dislike you might not like/dislike, what I find healthy/unhealthy you might not find suitable for you, what I consider as gain you might consider as loss for your self.

So what? You may ask.

We as humans have this tendency to find similarities or should I say ‘similar grounds’ for interactions, this is a natural need in us and comes from the fact of us being humans. Now if one is seeking similarity the most obvious thing where on seeks similarity is in ‘Choices’.

I am sure you have noticed this.

This is where the problem lies, since our choices are based on only three criteria (Likes/Dislikes, Healthy/unhealthy & gain/loss), we end up trying to seek similarity in areas where similarity is very much impossible.

Does that mean we have an inherent flaw?

NO not at all.

We do make friends, fall in love, etc don’t we? (though we are not able to sustain these relationships ????)

How does that happen?

Yes the answer lies in there, if one examines the choices one makes inherently when feeling a strong bond with someone and also when one is feeling negative about someone, one can find a clue to the problem.

So what do you think?