Relationships: continued

(This is in reponse to the comment on my previous post by a friend)

"So if people are in love there is no relationship?"

What is love? Is it when two people want to spend each and every moment in each others company? Or is it when one wants to share everything in ones life with the partner? Or is it when all your thaughts, dreams and actions are focussed on one person??

To me love is a bit different from all the above, all the above mentioned states are various forms of dependencies only.

Love to me is a state of being between two people when both people can be as they are, there is no put on, no acts, no special consideration, infact it is a state when you are you from the very core of your being and so is your partner and this core which you usually hide from everyone is spontaneously shown to your partner, this is mutual.

Such a state has no insecurities(dependencies).

"Human relations work because of dependency."

You are right thats what we see around us all human relations are working on the basis of dependencies.
And they seem to be working, but the problem is these relations don't last. Infact even while they are going on either of the two partners has some issue troubling them which they keep pushing back so as to make the relation work(comprmise?).

My point is do these "working relations" provide a mutually fullfilling experience, where there is no exploitation of the either participant, where there is no compromises and all acts are voluntary, spontaneous and totally in synch with your being?

So the question is do humans as such want lasting & mutually fullfilling relationships?

To me the answer is a big yes, we all crave for such relationships all the time.

Anushree's response on the same comment

Anonymous, The moment you use the word 'excessive', it means a range of some kind ... whether little or more doesn't really matter. A dependency is ultimately a dependency.

Yes, another thing that matters in relationships is the 'comfort' factor.

And, all relationships are based on 'give and take'. We give something, tangible or intangible, and similarly, we receive something ... again, tangible or intangible. We can only give something when we have it in our kitty; we can't borrow it from anyone. The 'balancing act' happens. And, whenever it doesn't happen or we're unable to 'see' (understand) it, the relationship falls apart.

We always crave for 'lasting relationships' ... Such is human nature, I suppose. It's only when we are able to stand on our own two feet and do not 'lean' .. we can achieve a relationship of equality. I think only relationships based on equality last.

Well, we're all evolving individuals ... change is the very basis of existence.

Just a few of my thoughts/beliefs ... we can always agree to dis-agree, but keep the dialogue going ...

--Posted by anushree to Insights: My worldview at 7/8/2004 02:54:32 PM